f*ck! i'm in my twenties 

I saw this book in Urban Outfitters the other week and fell in love with the title and content so ended up buying it online and it finally arrived earlier this week. Emma Koenig book actually started as a blog, which you can view here, from the first page, I related so much, I felt like I had written this book myself, I knew it was a good purchase. Alongside the book, Emma also released a guided journal, it's filled with some 'activity pages' with pages encouraging you to draw a self portrait of who you used to be, or to write an apology letter for the things you did in your youth and to make a hook-up chart, it also includes some blank pages, some with little doodles on the corners and some with a few words such as, what's up buttercup?, and vent to me, I've started uses these pages to write down some inner thoughts and rants to help get them out to me. I haven't filled much of the journal in yet but what I have I've found to be very therapeutic and stress relieving.

I'm gonna use this post to share some of my favourite pages/quotes/words. 

f*ck! i'm in my twenties book:

• 'Is everyone else actually happier than me? or are they just better at pretending?'
• She writes a page of Fears, a lot of them are ones that I hold; 

FEARS;
- getting walked in on in public bathrooms; anxiety is heightened when toilet is far from the door
- having my day job become my career
- two people i introduced becoming better friends with each other than they are with me
- knocking over a bottle in a liquor store and causing a domino effect
- never being able to pay my parents back what I owe them
- total, absolute, 100% FAILURE

• She also writes a list of the things she will most certainly do in the next year, and once again i'm 99% sure I will also be doing the things she writes (like I said, this book is so relatable) 

IN THE FOLLOWING YEAR, I AM ALMOST CERTAIN THAT I WILL:
- do something that many people have advised me not to do
- develop a crush on someone unattainable and it will eat me up inside
- agree to something I don't want to out of guilt
- be rejected
- complain about how its too hot or too cold
- find ways to justify the poor decisions I will end up making
- have many nights where I won't be able to fall asleep
- doubt myself tremendously
- have many conversations that are sad or frustrating or uncomfortable or all 3
- feel like an idiot
- worry about making enough money but...it will be okay. 

f*ck! i'm in my twenties guided journal: 

• 'write a letter to a younger version of yourself - at a time when you needed a lot of love' as you will be aware if you've read my previous posts I recently wrote a letter to myself, so therefore i am going to use this space to write that letter down. 
• 'On the following page, write a letter to someone who is very meaningful to you at the moment. THE SAD TRUTH is that relationships, no matter the nature, usually don't last forever. Someone you were super close to a year ago may feel like a stranger now. I'm sure you know all of this already but you may not know that you are holding onto some intense unsaid shit. GIVE THIS LETTER TO THEM OR KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF EITHER WAY, LET THOSE EMOTIONS FLOW!' Another Letter!! I haven't written this letter yet however I do know who I'm going to write it to, just not what i'm going to say. (I've actually been thinking about buying some super nice note cards and writing little notes to people in my life when they need a little message of love, encouragement or whatever else they need, and send it to them and hopefully make them smile.) 
• 'A MOOD GRAPH' Track your emotions to get a better sense of them. Now when someone asks how you're doing, you can give them a more annoyingly accurate response. I love this idea. I'm gonna fill it out for the month of March and then maybe I'll post my finished graph and you can see how up and down my emotions really are. The graph goes from 'the fucking worse' all the way up to 'FUCK YES! Orgasmic heavenly bliss' 
• There's a page for Hand Drawn Instagrams, where you have the space to draw your own; nature, cute animal doing something cute, my breakfast, and screenshot of funny text convo (and others) instagram pictures. 
• There's a page to create your own BFF Trading Cards (see picture below for my attempt so far) I haven't collected trading cards since the Pokemon phase when I was like 8 so I have no idea what these are actually meant to look like so I just did some little doodles of my friends and the things I associate them with. I'm not sure what the backs gonna look like yet. 
• 'People Watching - A series of drawings and words (imagine the lives they are leading)' I'm super excited to fill this page out! I love people watching and for my entire life I have been told that I have a very vivid imagination (I'm the one that can see the shapes in clouds nobody else can) so coming up with imaginary lives for strangers will be super fun