Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people; it is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. 

I've learnt the hard way that not everybody is truly your friend and loves you for you; sometimes they are just there for what they can get out of you and then when you learn that that is the case it hurts. A lot. It’s happened to me and it sucked, it made me start to question who I can trust and I then found it hard to make friends, I just settled with acquaintances, it took less effort and hurt less when they left. But then I met the right people, the kind of people you know are right for you and are going to be there for you always and I learnt to trust people again, I admit sometimes I sit alone and I question whether they actually like me and that’s has nothing to do with them because I know they do, it’s my mind, my fucked up insecurities that ruin everything but then they do or say something and without them even knowing they prove to me that I need to stop worrying and questioning their love and that’s what is so great about them and why I know they’re going to be stuck with me forever.

“Be careful who you call your friends. I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.” – Al Capone.

I've found my four quarters in my emos and I’m sort of glad that I had to go through friendships with shitty people and friendships that drifted or ended on a bad note because now I can see that I’m friends with the right people and friendship means so much more to me than it used to. I also find it so interesting that I crossed path with these people several times before we actually spoke to each other properly and became friends and I genuinely believe there was a reason for that, something or someone somewhere knew that maybe it wasn't the right time for us to become friends until we did. But man am I happy that we now have each other.

‘Sometimes when you meet someone, there’s a click. I don’t believe in love at first sight but I believe in that click.’

I genuinely believe this quote sums up my friendship with Vanessa perfectly, honestly from the first time we met at that stupid airport, waiting for that stupid band that we waste our lives on, and I heard her snort for the first time, I felt that click and I said to myself ‘she’s going to be my friend’ and here we are over a year later and she’s still here annoying me but mostly caring for me and making me laugh and making me happy. Gosh this sounds like a soppy love story, no this is not a marriage proposal. It may have only been a short time I've known her compared to how long other ‘best friends’ have known each other for but it genuinely feels like longer, and one part of me wishes we had met sooner but I also think it’s better that we met when we did, we met each other at such important years and times of our lives, we've gotten that bratty teen phase out of the way and know we can learn to be adults together and go through those changes and help each other and love each other, cause she totally loves me, and look forward to experiencing new things together and hopefully one day travelling to new countries together and maybe one day when I get my shit together and move the fuck out of here, we can live together, if she wants me, and make even more bad decisions.

I've learnt that I don’t need everyone to like me and I don’t have to please everyone and I also don’t need to like everyone, yes I need to be nice to everyone no matter what because I don’t know what people have going on in their lives and what made them be cruel and bitter towards people and my kindness might help them in some way. So instead of being cruel and rude back to someone that is or has been rude towards me, I’ve learnt to be courteous and move on and worry about the people that do like and care for me. I’m going to be honest, I haven’t always been the nicest of people and yes I can be a bitch and I’m genuinely sorry for the people I’ve not been very nice to at various stages in my life and I’m trying to be a better person and I hope other people will learn to be better people too. Why waste energy on people mean when you can use that energy on being nice and making people happy.

I’m so lucky to have the people in my life that I do, they support me and are honest and I’m just so thankful for them and the fact they are just as weird and make similar bad decisions as me. Some people won’t understand how you can meet someone through a band and all of a sudden be best friends with them, they will say stuff like ‘you’re only friends because you like the same band and that all’ when yeah, that’s how we met, that band is the first thing we found out we had in common with each other but with the people I call my friends it has become so much more than that. We may have met because we all have a problem when it comes to 5SOS and wanting to meet and see them but our friendship has become more centered on each other and learning new things about each other every day than it is to do with that band. I mean we do need to talk about things other than my obsessive love towards Michael Clifford every once in a while. I feel like we are one little slightly dysfunctional family, when we are together i have some of the best times of my life and when we are apart I feel like I've lost an arm. I mean we even make paper mache heads if one of us can't be there. 

I’m not really sure where this post was meant to go or what the point of it was so I’m just going to end it here but I just want to say thank you to anyone that is or has ever been in my life and has been my friend or has cared for me in any way, you've affected my life in more ways than you probably know. As you've probably noticed I didn't really mention any names in this and its mainly because these people know who they are and I don’ t need to give them a shoutout, I mean guys if you want a shoutout just let me know and I’ll be happy to give you one. I’m really excited to see what this year and the rest of my life brings and what people stay in my life and who leaves and who comes into it, I know who I want to stay and I really hope they want to stay, forever.